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A sincere confession of an Orthodox Christian
Bless me, O Lord and Savior,
to confess to Thee not only with words, but also with bitter tears.
and there is much to weep for...
My faith in Thee vacillates, O Lord!
Thoughts of skepticism and disbelief push themselves in to my soul much more often
than they ever have.
Why?
Of course, the spirit of the times is to blame,
and people that I meet are to blame, but even more to blame am I myself, because I do
not struggle with disbelief, because I do not pray to Thee for aid.
I am still more to blame if I am a temptation for someone else, by deed or word or just by
cold silence when people speak of the faith.
I have sinned in this, O Lord: forgive and have mercy, and grant me faith.
My love for other people, even my relatives, is diminishing.
Their continual requests for help and their forgetfulness of how much I have already done
for them causes mutual hard feelings.
But I am more guilty than they are: guilty because although I have the means to help
them, I help them only grudgingly; guilty because I help them not for pure, Christian
motivations, but out of pride and a desire for gratitude and praise.
Forgive me, Oh Lord, soften my heart and teach me to look not at how people treat me,
but at how I treat other people.
And if they treat in a hostile way, inspire me, Oh Lord, to pay them back with love and
goodness and pray for them.
I have also sinned in that I think very, very little about my sins.
Not only at ordinary times of the year, but even when I am preparing for Communion I
do not remember them, I do not try to call them to mind for confession.
General phrases come to mind: "Nothing special, I am sinful like everyone.