sci_linguistic “ерри ѕратчетт “еатр жестокости (Theater of Cruelty)

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Terry Pratchett Theater of Cruelty Mas_Vadim FB Editor v2.0 05 March 2011 9A4B5E3A-83FD-4E12-A295-CE5EA719419D 1.0

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Terry Pratchett

Theater of Cruelty

“еатр жестокости

It was a fine summer morning (это было замечательное летнее утро), the kind to make a man happy to be alive (из тех, которые заставл€ют человека радоватьс€ жизни). And probably the man would have been happier to be alive (и, веро€тно, человек был бы еще счастливее, был бы он жив). He was, in fact, dead (он был, фактически, мертв). It would be hard to be deader without special training (трудно быть мертвее, без специальной подготовки).

УWell, now,Ф said Sergeant Colon (Ankh-Morpork City Guard, Night Watch), consulting his notebook (свер€€сь с блокнотом), Уso far we have cause of death as (на сегодн€шний момент мы имеем следующие причины смерти) a) being beaten with at least one blunt instrument (забит до смерти по крайней мере одним тупым предметом) b) being strangled with a string of sausages (задушен св€зкой сосисок; string Ц цепочка, веревка) and c) being savaged by at least two animals with big sharp teeth (покусан по крайней мере двум€ животными с большими острыми зубами). What do we do now (что нам делать теперь), Nobby?Ф

УArrest the suspect (арестовать подозреваемого), Sarge,Ф said Corporal Nobbs, saluting smartly (браво отдав честь; smartly Ц энергично, сильно, резко).

УSuspect, Nobby?Ф

УHim,Ф said Nobby, prodding the corpse with his boot (пина€ труп своим ботинком). УI call it highly suspicious (€ считаю это очень подозрительным), being dead like that (быть мертвым вот так). HeТs been drinking, too (он также пил). We could do him for being dead and disorderly (мы могли бы пов€зать его за смерть и нарушение пор€дка).Ф

Colon scratched his head (почесал затылок). Arresting the corpse offered, of course, certain advantages (арест трупа предлагал, конечно, определенные преимущества). ButЕ

УI reckon (€ полагаю),Ф he said slowly (он сказал медленно), Уthat Captain VimesТll want this one sorted out (что капитан ¬аймс захочет разрешить это дело) . YouТd better bring it back to the Watch House (тебе лучше отнести тело назад в ƒом —тражи), Nobby.Ф

УAnd then can we eat the sausages (а потом мы можем съесть сосиски), sarge?Ф said Corporal Nobbs.

It was a fine summer morning, the kind to make a man happy to be alive. And probably the man would have been happier to be alive. He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training.

УWell, now,Ф said Sergeant Colon (Ankh-Morpork City Guard, Night Watch), consulting his notebook, Уso far we have cause of death as a) being beaten with at least one blunt instrument b) being strangled with a string of sausages and c) being savaged by at least two animals with big sharp teeth. What do we do now, Nobby?Ф

УArrest the suspect, Sarge,Ф said Corporal Nobbs, saluting smartly.

УSuspect, Nobby?Ф

УHim,Ф said Nobby, prodding the corpse with his boot. УI call it highly suspicious, being dead like that. HeТs been drinking, too. We could do him for being dead and disorderly.Ф

Colonscratched his head. Arresting the corpse offered, of course, certain advantages. ButЕ

УI reckon,Ф he said slowly, Уthat Captain VimesТll want this one sorted out. YouТd better bring it back to the Watch House, Nobby.Ф

УAnd then can we eat the sausages, sarge?Ф said Corporal Nobbs.

It wasnТt easy, being the senior policeman in Ankh-Morpork (это было нелегко, быть старшим полицейским в јнк-ћорпорке), greatest of cities of the Discworld (величайшем из городов ѕлоского ћира) [*].

There were probably worlds (веро€тно, где-то есть миры), captain Vimes mused in his gloomier moments (капитан ¬аймс размышл€л в самые мрачные моменты), where there werenТt wizards (где нет волшебников) (who made locked room mysteries commonplace (которые делали загадки запертой комнаты обыденностью)) or zombies (или зомбей) (murder cases were really strange when the victim could be the chief witness (дела об убийствах были действительно странными, когда жертва могла быть главным свидетелем)) and where dogs could be relied on to do nothing in the night time (и где собаки ничего не делают в ночное врем€) and not go around chatting to people (и не шастаютс€ вокруг, разговарива€ с людьми). Captain Vimes believed in logic (верил в логику), in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice (в той же степени, как человек в пустыне верит в лед)Чi.e., it was something he really needed (то есть, это было что-то, в чем он сильно нуждалс€), but this just wasnТt the world for it (но это просто не был мир дл€ этого =† да† только мир вокруг оказалс€† неподход€щим† дл€ такой штуковины). Just once, he thought, itТd be nice to solve something (хот€ бы один разок, подумал он, было бы хорошо раскрыть что-нибудь).

He looked at the blue-faced body on the slab (он посмотрел на синелицее тело на плите), and felt a tiny flicker of excitement (и почувствовал крошечную искорку возбуждени€). There were clues (там были улики). HeТd never seen proper clues before (он никогда не видел насто€щих улик до этого; proper Ц правильный, должный).

УCouldnТt have been a robber (вр€д ли это было ограбление), Captain,Ф said Sergeant Colon. УThe reason being, his pockets were full of money (причина в том, что его карманы были битком набиты деньгам). Eleven dollars (одиннадцать долларов).Ф

УI wouldnТt call that full (€ бы не сказал, что это битком),Ф said Captain Vimes.

УIt was all in pennies and haТpennies (все в центовиках и полуцентовиках), sir. IТm amazed his trousers stood the strain (€ удивлен, что его брюки выдержали этот вес: Ђвысто€ли напр€жениеї). And I have cunningly detected the fact that he was a showman (и € ловко определил тот факт, что он был шоумэном), sir. He had some cards in his pocket (у него были карточки в кармене), sir. СChas Slumber, ChildrenТs EntertainerТ (развлекатель детей = детский затейник).Ф

УI suppose no one saw anything (€ полагаю, что никто ничего не видел)?Ф said Vimes.

УWell, sir,Ф said Sergeant Colon helpfully (услужливо), УI told young Constable Carrot to find some witnesses (€ сказал констеблю  арроту найти свидетелей).Ф

УYou asked Corporal Carrot to investigate a murder (расследовать убийство)? All by himself (в одиночку)?Ф said Vimes.

The sergeant scratched his head.

УAnd he said to me, did I know anyone very old and seriously ill (знаю ли € кого-нибудь, кто очень стар и серьезно болен)?Ф

It wasnТt easy, being the senior policeman in Ankh-Morpork, greatest of cities of the Discworld [*].

There were probably worlds, captain Vimes mused in his gloomier moments, where there werenТt wizards (who made locked room mysteries commonplace) or zombies (murder cases were really strange when the victim could be the chief witness) and where dogs could be relied on to do nothing in the night time and not go around chatting to people. Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in iceЧi.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasnТt the world for it. Just once, he thought, itТd be nice to solve something.

He looked at the blue-faced body on the slab, and felt a tiny flicker of excitement. There were clues. HeТd never seen proper clues before.

УCouldnТt have been a robber, Captain,Ф said Sergeant Colon. УThe reason being, his pockets were full of money. Eleven dollars.Ф

УI wouldnТt call that full,Ф said Captain Vimes.

УIt was all in pennies and haТpennies, sir. IТm amazed his trousers stood the strain. And I have cunningly detected the fact that he was a showman, sir. He had some cards in his pocket, sir. СChas Slumber, ChildrenТs EntertainerТ.Ф

УI suppose no one saw anything?Ф said Vimes.

УWell, sir,Ф said Sergeant Colon helpfully, УI told young Constable Carrot to find some witnesses.Ф

УYou asked Corporal Carrot to investigate a murder? All by himself?Ф said Vimes.

The sergeant scratched his head.

УAnd he said to me, did I know anyone very old and seriously ill?Ф

And on the magical Discworld, there is always one guaranteed witness to any homicide (и на магическом ѕлоском ћире всегда есть гарантированно один свидетель любого убийства; homicide Ц убийство). ItТs his job (это его работа).

Constable Carrot, the WatchТs youngest member (самый молодой член), often struck people as simple (часто производил на людей впечатление простака). And he was (и он был = таким он и был). He was incredibly simple (он был неверо€тно прост), but in the same way that a sword is simple (но в той же мере, как прост меч), or an ambush is simple (или как проста засада). He was also possibly the most linear thinker (он был, возможно, самым пр€молинейным мыслителем) in the history of the universe (в истории вселенной).

HeТd been waiting by the bedside of an old man (он ждал у постели старика), whoТd quite enjoyed the company (который был рад компании). And now it was time to take out his notebook (и сейчас было самое врем€ достать свою записную книжку).

УNow I know you saw something (итак, € знаю, что вы видели что-то), sir,Ф he said. УYou were there (вы были там).Ф

WELL, YES, said Death. I HAVE TO BE (ћЌ≈ ѕ–»’ќƒ»“—я Ѕџ“№), YOU KNOW. BUT THIS IS VERY IRREGULAR (Ќќ Ё“ќ ќ„≈Ќ№ Ќ≈ќЅџ„Ќќ).

УYou see (понимаете ли), sir,Ф said Corporal Carrot, Уas I understand the law (как € понимаю закон), you are an Accessory After The Fact (соучастник после факта). Or possibly Before The Fact.Ф

YOUNG MAN, I AM THE FACT (ћќЋќƒќ… „≈Ћќ¬≈ , я » ≈—“№ ‘ј “).

УAnd I am an officer of the Law (а € Ч офицер «акона),Ф said Corporal Carrot. УThereТs got to be a law (закон должен быть), you know.Ф

YOU WANT ME TO (¬џ ’ќ“»“≈, „“ќЅџ я)Е ERЕ GRASS SOMEONE UP («јЋќ∆»Ћ  ќ√ќ-Ќ»Ѕ”ƒ№; grass Ц информатор)? DROP A DIME ON SOMEONE (Ќј јѕјЋ Ќј  ќ√ќ-“ќ)? SING LIKE A PIGEON (—ѕ≈Ћ,  ј  √ќЋ”Ѕ№ = Ќј—“”„јЋ,  ј  ƒя“≈Ћ)? NO. NO-ONE KILLED MR. SLUMBER (Ќ» “ќ Ќ≈ ”Ѕ»¬јЋ ћ»—“≈–ј —ЋјћЅ≈–ј). I CANТT HELP YOU THERE (Ќ≈ ћќ√” ¬јћ ѕќћќ„№).

УOh, I donТt know, sir,Ф said Carrot, УI think you have (€ думаю, вы помогли).Ф

DAMN (ѕ–ќ Ћя“№≈).

Death watched Carrot leave (смерть смотрел, как ћоркоу уходит), ducking his head as he went down the narrow stairs of the hovel (наклонив голову, спуска€сь по узкой лестнице лачуги).

NOW THEN, WHERE WAS I (ќ „≈ћ Ё“ќ я)Е

УExcuse me,Ф said the wizened old man in the bed (сказал иссохший старик в постеле). УI happen to be 107 (мне уже 107 лет), you know. I havenТt got all day (у мен€ нет всего дн€ = не думаю, что прот€ну еще один день).Ф

AH, YES, CORRECT (ј’, ƒј, ¬≈–Ќќ).

Death sharpened his scythe (заточил свою косу). It was the first time heТd ever helped the police with their enquiries (это было в первый раз, когда он помог полиции с ее делами; enquiry Ц дело, проблема, вопрос). Still, everyone had a job to do (хот€, у всех есть работа, которую нужно делать).

And on the magical Discworld, there is always one guaranteed witness to any homicide. ItТs his job.

Constable Carrot, the WatchТs youngest member, often struck people as simple. And he was. He was incredibly simple, but in the same way that a sword is simple, or an ambush is simple. He was also possibly the most linear thinker in the history of the universe.

HeТd been waiting by the bedside of an old man, whoТd quite enjoyed the company. And now it was time to take out his notebook.

УNow I know you saw something, sir,Ф he said. УYou were there.Ф

WELL, YES, said Death. I HAVE TO BE, YOU KNOW. BUT THIS IS VERY IRREGULAR.

УYou see, sir,Ф said Corporal Carrot, Уas I understand the law, you are an Accessory After The Fact. Or possibly Before The Fact.Ф

YOUNG MAN, I AM THE FACT.

УAnd I am an officer of the Law,Ф said Corporal Carrot. УThereТs got to be a law, you know.Ф

YOU WANT ME TOЕ ERЕ GRASS SOMEONE UP? DROP A DIME ON SOMEONE? SING LIKE A PIGEON? NO. NO-ONE KILLED MR. SLUMBER. I CANТT HELP YOU THERE.

УOh, I donТt know, sir,Ф said Carrot, УI think you have.Ф

DAMN.

Death watched Carrot leave, ducking his head as he went down the narrow stairs of the hovel.

NOW THEN, WHERE WAS IЕ

УExcuse me,Ф said the wizened old man in the bed. УI happen to be 107, you know. I havenТt got all day.Ф

AH, YES, CORRECT.

Death sharpened his scythe. It was the first time heТd ever helped the police with their enquiries. Still, everyone had a job to do.

Corporal Carrot strolled easily around the town (капрал ћоркоу прогуливалс€ по городу). He had a Theory (у него была “еори€). HeТd read a book about Theories (он читал книгу о “еори€х). You added up all the clues, and you got a Theory (вы складывали все улики и получали “еорию). Everything had to fit (все должно совпасть).

There were sausages (там были сосиски). Someone had to buy sausages (кто-то должен был купить сосиски). And then there were pennies (и были центовики). Normally only one subsection of the human race paid for things in pennies (обычно только одна категори€ человеческой расы платила за вещи центовиками).

He called in at a sausage maker (он зашел к сосисочнику; call in Ц зайти, заскочить). He found a group of children, and chatted to them for a while (он обнаружил группу детей и поболтал с ними немного).

Then he ambled back to the alley (затем легким шагом он вернулс€ в аллею), where Corporal Nobbs had chalked the outline of the corpse on the ground (где копрал Ўнобби нарисовал мелом контур трупа на земле) (colouring it in (разукрасив его), and adding a pipe and a walking stick (пририсовав трубку и трость) and some trees and bushes in the background (и несколько деревьев и кустарников на заднем плане)Чpeople had already dropped 7p in his helmet (люди уже кинули 7 центов в его шлем)). He paid some attention to the heap of rubbish at the far end (он обратил внимание на кучу мусора в дальнем конце), and then sat down on a busted barrel (и затем сел на сломанную бочку).

УAll rightЕ you can come out now (хорошо, вы можете выходить),Ф he said, to the world at large (сказал он миру в целом = в пустоту). УI didnТt know there were any gnomes left in the world (не знал, что еще остались номы в мире).Ф

The rubbish rustled (мусор затрещал). They trooped out (они все вышли; troop Ц двигатьс€ толпой)Чthe little man with the red hat (маленький мужчина в красной шл€пе), the hunched back and the hooked nose (сгорбленной спиной и кривым носом), the little woman in the mob cap carrying the even smaller baby (маленька€ женщина в домашнем чепце, несша€ на руках еще более маленького ребенка), the little policeman (маленький полицейский), the dog with the ruff around its neck (собака с гривой вокруг шеи), and the very small alligator (и очень маленький аллигатор).

Corporal Carrot sat and listened.

УHe made us do it (он вынудил нас сделать это),Ф said the little man. He had a surprisingly deep voice (у него был на удивление глубокий голос). УHe used to beat us (он бил нас). Even the alligator (даже аллигатора). That was all he understood, hitting things with sticks (это все, что он понимал Ч бить все палкой). And he used to take all the money the dog Toby collected and get drunk (и он забирал все деньги, которые собирал пес “оби, и напивалс€). And then we ran away and he caught us in the alley (а затем мы убежали, а он поймал нас в аллее) and started on Judy and the baby and he fell over and (и прин€лс€ за ƒжуди с малышом, и он споткнулс€ и упал и; fall over Ц споткнутьс€ обо что-л. и упасть) ЧФ

УWho hit him first (кто ударил его первым)?Ф said Carrot.

УAll of us (все мы)!Ф

УBut not very hard (но не очень сильно),Ф said Carrot. УYouТre all too small (вы слишком маленькие). You didnТt kill him (вы не убивали его). I have a very convincing statement about that (у мен€ есть очень убедительные показани€ по этому поводу). So I went and had another look at him (поэтому € пошел и взгл€нул на него еще раз). HeТd choked to death (он задохнулс€). WhatТs this (что это)?Ф

He held up a little leather disc (он показал маленький кожаный диск; hold up Ц выставл€ть, показывать).

УItТs a swozzle (это пищалка),Ф said the little policeman. УHe used it for the voices (он использовал ее, чтобы делать голоса). He said ours werenТt funny enough (говорил, наши недостаточно смешные).Ф

УThatТs the way to do it (вот так это делаетс€)!Ф said the one called Judy.

УIt was stuck in his throat (она застр€ла у него в горле),Ф said Carrot. УI suggest you run away (€ предлагаю вам убежать отсюда). Just as far as you can (так далеко, как только сможете).Ф

УWe thought we could start a peopleТs co-operative (кооперативное общество народцев = балаган на па€х),Ф said the leading gnome.

УYou knowЕ experimental drama, street theatre (экспериментальна€ драма, уличный театр), that sort of thing (и все такое). Not hitting each other with sticks (а не дубасить друг друга палками)ЕФ

УYou did that for children (вы делали это дл€ детей)?Ф said Carrot.

УHe said it was a new sort of entertainment (он сказал, что это новый вид развлечени€). He said itТd catch on (он сказал, что это станет модным; catch on Ц становитьс€ модным).Ф

Carrot stood up, and flicked the swozzle into the rubbish (щелчком запустил пищалку в мусор).

УPeopleТll never stand for it (люди никогда не потерп€т этого),Ф he said. УThatТs not the way to do it.Ф

Corporal Carrot strolled easily around the town. He had a Theory. HeТd read a book about Theories. You added up all the clues, and you got a Theory. Everything had to fit.

There were sausages. Someone had to buy sausages. And then there were pennies. Normally only one subsection of the human race paid for things in pennies.

He called in at a sausage maker. He found a group of children, and chatted to them for a while.

Then he ambled back to the alley, where Corporal Nobbs had chalked the outline of the corpse on the ground (colouring it in, and adding a pipe and a walking stick and some trees and bushes in the backgroundЧpeople had already dropped 7p in his helmet). He paid some attention to the heap of rubbish at the far end, and then sat down on a busted barrel.

УAll rightЕ you can come out now,Ф he said, to the world at large. УI didnТt know there were any gnomes left in the world.Ф

The rubbish rustled. They trooped outЧthe little man with the red hat, the hunched back and the hooked nose, the little woman in the mob cap carrying the even smaller baby, the little policeman, the dog with the ruff around its neck, and the very small alligator.

Corporal Carrot sat and listened.

УHe made us do it,Ф said the little man. He had a surprisingly deep voice. УHe used to beat us. Even the alligator. That was all he understood, hitting things with sticks. And he used to take all the money the dog Toby collected and get drunk. And then we ran away and he caught us in the alley and started on Judy and the baby and he fell over and ЧФ

УWho hit him first?Ф said Carrot.

УAll of us!Ф

УBut not very hard,Ф said Carrot. УYouТre all too small. You didnТt kill him. I have a very convincing statement about that. So I went and had another look at him. HeТd choked to death. WhatТs this?Ф

He held up a little leather disc.

УItТs a swozzle,Ф said the little policeman. УHe used it for the voices. He said ours werenТt funny enough.Ф

УThatТs the way to do it!Ф said the one called Judy.

It was stuck in his throat,Ф said Carrot. УI suggest you run away. Just as far as you can.Ф

УWe thought we could start a peopleТs co-operative,Ф said the leading gnome.

УYou knowЕ experimental drama, street theatre, that sort of thing. Not hitting each other with sticksЕФ

УYou did that for children?Ф said Carrot.

УHe said it was a new sort of entertainment. He said itТd catch on.Ф

Carrot stood up, and flicked the swozzle into the rubbish.

УPeopleТll never stand for it,Ф he said. УThatТs not the way to do it.Ф

[*] Which is flat and goes through space on the back of an enormous turtle (который плоский и плывет сквозь космос на спине огромной черепахи), and why not (а почему бы и нет)Е

[*] Which is flat and goes through space on the back of an enormous turtle, and why notЕ